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Selfish isn’t a bad word. It doesn’t deserve the power that our community gives to it.

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Let me begin by sharing I didn’t want to call this the Selfish Latina podcast. I didn’t want to because when it came up in a brainstorm, it stung. I didn’t want to be associated with anything called “selfish.” I didn’t want to deliberately call anything I do, selfish. Ouch. No thanks.

But because out of all of all the ideas that were batted around that day, this is the one that stuck it made me wonder why. Why did I keep laughing because I loved it but also kept qualifying that it could never be the name?

Why does that word hold such a negative charge?

I started thinking about the beef that the entire Latino community seems to have with it because I’m fascinated by human behavior and especially the behavior of an entire ethnic group. If we were to make a list of powerful words it would likely make the list on the negative side. But what if we could see it another way? What if selfish could be seen as a strength? It occurs to me that if you’re really attached to being everything to everybody and accustomed to putting yourself last, you might be a little more than pissed right now. Hell, you might not even finish reading.



But what if things could be different? What if you didn’t have to put everyone first and you could go first for a change? Your needs, your dreams your life. I’m not saying at anyone’s expense like your kids. I AM saying if you don’t “tend to your own store”, you won’t have any thing for any body.

One of the reasons we decided a resounding yes to the name was to deliberately poke the beehive of this fixed belief that we in some way are obligated to embody selflessness, at all times, no exceptions.

I remember all the hate I received from a video we made about putting yourself first. The comments on that thread made me happy that my mom wasn’t on Facebook so she wouldn’t have to read the vitriol that was being directed my way all because I shared that we need to take care of our needs, before we think about taking care of others. The worst comment called me “a disgrace to the entire Latino community.” #ouch

Selfish isn’t a bad word. It doesn’t deserve the power that our community gives to it. Putting yourself first is the gift that keeps giving. It insures that we can give our best to those we love because we’ve given to ourselves first. It’s about putting an end to the glory that martyrdom gives away for free to the selfless and embraces something new that is life giving and self preserving.

And because I know that sometimes it takes a minute to fully embrace a big idea, we made it a smidge more palatable and called is Self-ish, so not completely selfish, but sorta.

So what’s it about?

The Self-ish Latina Podcast is about unapologetically putting yourself first on your list. It’s about life and the exploration of it as cultural beings both personally and professionally. It’s about embracing where you are, who you are, and the woman, mom, friend, daughter, wife, niece, prima, co-worker etc  you want to be.

In the end, like anything important, it’s about love. Self love.



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  1. Denise says:

    Thanks SO much Pat! Really appreciate the support!! There are a few ways to get more involved. Let us know what you are thinking by emailing us at We’d LOVE to hear from you!

  2. Denise says:

    Thank you so much Angie for your kinds words and yes – could not agree more!

  3. Angie says:

    As is usual with regards to articles you write, i find myself inspired, and reflective . This particularly true and i hope it gets us all talking, n reflecting n deciding to grow because its a truth we need to grasp n come to terms with.

  4. Pat says:

    Loving the project Eñye how can I do more to get involved

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