Did you know most Latinos have a hard time following their heart because they’re worried about what their family will think?
Yep! It’s true.
Latino/a/x culture is what’s called a collective culture meaning we prioritize the group (family) over the self. While mainstream US culture (based on Northern European culture/values) is more self-reliant meaning, the focus is on the individual.
Depending on where you’re from, you will literally think one way of being is right, and the other one is wrong. (This is how we begin to discern our belief systems which I’ll go into on another post this week.)
So you can begin to understand that growing up bicultural can lead to all kinds of internal struggles like…
✔️ There’s always a shortcoming: You’re Spanish isn’t good enough. You’re acting like a “gringo” you’re not a “real” Latino 🤮 (my personal fav) etc.
It becomes exhausting to feel like you always have to prove yourself and it often leads to paralyzing self-doubt.
For a lot of Latinos, our self-worth is tied to productivity. It’s SO hard to sit back and just feel proud of yourself.
One of my biggest personal insights is when I realized that I’d been focusing on my joy coming AFTER the attainment of a big achievement instead of taking time to be grateful and allowing myself to experience joy in the moment.
Does following your heart feel like rejecting your family? Doing your own thing can often feel like you’re betraying them. And it takes a profound identity shift to realize that following your heart has zero to do with them.
Bottom line: No one else is wearing your shoes. They’re not you. They’re not the ones that have to live with the consequences of the decisions you make.
It’s ok to act and think for yourself. In fact, this is how you actually bring your best self to the people you love.
Just some food for thought.
So what’s the shocking thing i did? I decided to change my mind about what it means to follow my heart – and you can too!
I’d love to hear about the last time you listened to your heart!
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I’ve actually just recently had an interaction with my mom. I have been working on placing boundaries with my family, which is really hard when it comes to the culture. And as I was talking to my mom about this, she proceeded to say “no seas tan gringa! Estas olvidandote de tu cultura” and honestly, it hurts. Still hurts and makes me so angry. And I’m realizing more, I’ve done it all for them rather than myself. I forget or more like I don’t know what I want! Because it has been about my parents. Reading this really made me realize I’m not alone. So, thank you